Last night, I was driving through a residential neighborhood on my way home from work. I saw something that is not often seen these days. A young girl was outside playing basketball with her mother. That's right, her mother! And it was obvious from the scene that the mother was teaching the daughter how to hold the ball as she prepares to shoot for the goal. I don't think I have ever seen a mother and daughter playing basketball outside before. It was a very encouraging sight.
First of all, in this busy world there are so many parents that don't make the effort to spend time with their children. Then again, many parents do. Some parents want their children to be involved in sports, music lessons, art classes and any other extra activities that they can think of that might benefit or enrich their child's life. With all their good intentions some of these parents depend on the coaches, instructors, etc. to teach their children how to play the instrument or the game. But on the other hand, some parents use sports or music as opportunities to spend extra time with their children by coaching the team.
I realize I am discussing both sides of the coin here, but I guess the point I am getting at right now is that children need time with their parents. They need to understand that a parent is involved and cares about what they are doing -- whether that means being the teacher or coach or whether it just means going to watch and support the child. Get involved with your child's life!
It has been said that involving children in all these different things will boost their self- esteem and helps them become more confident. Perhaps that does help, but I think it is NOT the activity that makes the difference. It is the time spent with the child. I really think in today's world that many, many parents have forgotten this.
Children need to understand that parents love them. One of the best ways of showing love is giving them time, listening to them - trying to get to know them as people. And it doesn't matter if it is done while playing a sports activity - or driving to and from a music lesson or ballgame -- or fishing or hunting -- or taking a walk in the woods -- or raking leaves in the yard -- or letting them help you cook. Anyway, you get the point. It is not the activity per se, it is the time spent - the conversations -- the hugs - the laughs that are important for the child's development.
Think about it - the little girl I saw last night probably has a wonderful knowledge that her Mom loves her enough to teach her. Her Mom was encouraging her and trying to help her be her best. She knows that Mom cares about her - about what she is doing. Good for that Mom! I remember my Mom played with us when we were children. She would take a glove and baseball and go outside with us to toss a ball around -- or pitch to us while we took turns batting. Mom and Dad both attended our ball games, concerts, plays - whatever my brothers and I participated in, we always knew they were behind us 100%.
We are supposed to teach our children about the love of God. How can we do this if we don't show our children how much we love them? How can you explain the concept of love unless you are demonstrating that yourselves? Some parents really do love their children, but perhaps they don't take the time with them that they should. Maybe they don't know exactly how to show that love. Perhaps that is why the Bible says the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. We must teach our children about the sacrificial love of God -- but they come to understand that best when they have experienced that love within their own home.
Besides all this -- it turns out to be a double blessing. Staying close to your children brings them happiness and helps them to become productive, well-adjusted people who grow up to be positive influences -- lights in the world. But the love is returned to you. It comes back to you over and over. Having a close relationship will bring you happiness too.
Love your kids and show them you do by spending time with them. Let them know you value them as people. You will be glad you did!!
Christ above all things,
Robin
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