I once heard a lady tell another who was going through a rough time - "This is not who you are. It is only where you are right now. Don't let this situation define you."
What excellent advice! This really hit home to me. I've used these words in my own life. I find it encouraging. It helps me keep my wits gathered about me. I've even shared with other friends who are going through hard times.
I understand there is another side to this thought. I know our experiences do contribute to our character. We've heard that everyone we meet becomes a part of us somehow. People, circumstances, environment -- and what God gives us all shape our lives. This is true enough.
However, as adults we choose how we respond to our environment and circumstances. We decide what effect others have over us. This is what defines us. The choices we make - the things we do when we encounter any situation, good or bad - comes from who we are.
Maybe this is what Christ meant when he told his followers "And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two" (Matthew 5:41 NKJV). Do not let the behavior of the Roman soldier change who you are. Do not allow him to negatively influence you.
Instead - be the better person. Walk with him two miles. This gives you the opportunity to make a positive impact. Let your response define you - not what happens to you.
We face all kind of difficulties in this life - illness, pain, divorce, and the loss of loved ones are part of the major ones. We see people overcome all sorts of obstacles and triumph over tragedy. We rejoice with them!
See the thing is they chose to react positively to their particular situations. We can either choose where we are in our journey to deepen our faith and strengthen our character or we can allow it to embitter and destroy us.
Right now I know of a young man facing upcoming chemotherapy treatments. Before I say anymore, the most important thing about him is he is a very faithful Christian. I know in my heart he would want you to know that.
He has a rare type of bone cancer. He is married and has three small children. From day one - yes, day one - this godly man has inspired and encouraged others with his amazing faith. He finds good things to be thankful for. Even with his illness, he looks for blessings to share with others. Why? Because of who he is.
Throughout my life, I've known numerous men and women who continue to be faithful and active servants of the Lord after the death of their spouse. They face the heartbreak of walking into the same church building every Sunday (and Wednesday) alone - with no one to hold their hand or sit by them on the pew.
They didn't give up on God, just because they lost their life partner. They gather their strength and courage about them and walk through the doors of the church building. This is who they are.
I know a woman whose child was bullied at school. He became terribly depressed and talked about suicide. What did she do? She got help for her son immediately.
Then she went to the school and fought for him. She faced the principal and the teacher and had that long and difficult confrontation. This is who she is -- a mother who loves and protects her child. She was a force to be reckoned with.
I know of at least three Christian families who love and care for children with special needs. They are different children with different needs of varying degrees. All of these families have continued to be loving and caring parents. They have risen to the challenge of facing medical concerns, tests, procedures and treatments. They developed whatever skills they needed to care for their child. Yet, they still live their lives as families - together. They go to ballgames their other children play. They take vacations, they play together and learn together.
The dedication of these parents is almost unbelievable. The depth of compassion they have teaches me about compassion. Their courage, patience and wisdom shows me who they are.
I've known Christians who faced the heartbreak of divorce. The pain of betrayal seems to be unbearable. Yet, they refused to be "the woman whose husband walked out on her" or "the guy whose wife ran off with another man." Instead, they held their chins up and faced life head on. Some of them faced single parenthood. Some dealt with financial insecurity. Yet they found a way to make their lives work. Their inner strength and continued devotion to God told the world who they are.
I'm sure we all know someone who didn't give up when something bad happened to them. This doesn't even scratch the surface of all the tragedies people face in this life. But I hope it helps explain my point.
We are not always in control of what happens to us. We are in control of our actions and attitudes. It is not what happens to us that defines us; but how we live our lives.
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might" (Ephesians 6:10).
Christ above all things,
Robin
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